Today we had a fight. I’m not exactly sure why it started. It was in the hall and in the room next to mine at the beginning of seventh hour. The problem was that there weren’t any security guards around at the time.

I had to go in to try and diffuse the situation. Half the school was rushing to the commotion, which meant more side-fights were likely to start if something didn’t stop. There was another big teacher there for “back-up,” so I wasn’t necessarily being completely stupid.

The main character in the fight was C, one of my students. In fact, he’s a smart student turned violent as of late. Since coming back from winter break, he seems to be in a cycle getting into a fight, getting suspended for ten days, coming back for a day or two, and starting another fight. This student though is very tall, athletic/muscular/fast, and very unstable/rage-driven.

My M.O. is cool, calm and collected. I’ve found that being this “opposite” is the thing that gets the students’ attention the most in all situations inside the classroom and out.

So, I stepped in front of C and tried to talk some sense into him amidst his “fighting words” and nearly out of control movements. While I wasn’t necessarily successful — I wasn’t trying to actually restrain him — I was helping . C, almost completely out of his head because we are now more than one minute into this incident, was trying to get out of the classroom and into the hall where his target was. I was in the way.

C was trying to push around me without actually pushing me. Certainly “not acceptable” in terms of a student making contact with a teacher, but not intended to hurt me at all. He could have easily thrown me out of the way, but he was trying to circumvent me without having to meet up with me. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I ended up stepping backwards onto a coat, slipping, and falling to the floor, basically unrelated to C pushing up against me.

There are many more, excuse the pun, blow-by-blow details. For example there was a secondary fight and even a student who has braces with a bloodied mouth. But that’s not really the point of this.

At no point when I was intervening or when I ever intervene am I trying to overpower a student. When I step in, I have to have confidence in the possibility for success because of my past success. In trying to think about why this approach might work and why it worked today as C was basically trying to charge through the other staff member but not me, I think it has to do with the relationship I have built with C.

I have a feel for the amount of respect each student has for me, and I return this with a clearly demonstrated amount of respect. And no matter what tough-guy act a student puts on day-to-day, it says something when he complies with following the simple and “stupid” rules in my classroom. Knowing that I have this status with a student lets me be (stupidly/naively) confident that they will not completely cross the line with me in terms of physical violence.

I think it is easy to pick this situation apart because it was so high-intensity and so public and, compared to other times, so not seemingly successful. Or maybe it was successful, in a different type of way. Today when I fell, it did not stop C, but he stepped back and paused.

My enforcement tool is not the threat of a take-down, handcuffs or suspension. All I have is the ability to talk to them and force them to think like an intelligent person rather than a raging animal. By constantly reinforcing this personal view prior to any incidents, I can address them, in the heat of the moment, at that personal level which draws on their character. I inherently put a price on their choices — my respect.

Later when he saw me walking through the hall, C apologized — even though he knew it wouldn’t change the situation that he was cuffed and waiting for his mom to take him home for another ten-day suspension or the fact that his absences have caused him to fail my course this quarter when he used to have one of the highest grades. His words were something of the sort of “I wasn’t trying to and didn’t mean to hurt you if I did.” There was nothing to gain for him when he said that… except for the possibility of reestablishing the relationship we had till today based on respect for each other (and to not hurt each other).

So mom, grandma and others, I understand that I’m risking a really hard punch to my face. But, on the other hand, I can’t stop doing what I do. There’s something to be said about the fact that the security officer is serious about not wanting to be at school if I’m absent — she gave me her cell phone number after I was sick recently. I might not try and physically control anyone, but I’m able to help keep and restore an order in my own way and in a way that’s making a difference. When you treat these kids like people, they actually act like people.